Ulterior Motivation

I’ve got to find a new motivation. The self hatred doesn’t seem to be getting the job done like it used to. Feeling bad about myself seemed to work really well as fuel when I was 19; brand new to the LA streets. Now that I’ve grown here in all the definitions of the word, […]

Repeat After Me

“Did you listen to the tapes I sent you, yet?” My mother is kindly inquiring over the phone. She’s trying to pull me out of the mud. I’ve been trudging my way through a swamp of seemingly never ending anxiety and depression. I have all but given up on the idea of happiness. Occupying myself […]

The seedy Underarm

I’m growing out my armpit hair. The inspiration first coming from hipster feminists flaunting their own under arm locks in artsy tumblr photos. My initial reaction of “ooohhh how provocative” turned quickly to “I have armpit hair. I have no idea what it looks like.” From the first moment of it budding, I immediately began […]

I Think Therefore I Am

“You are more than you’re body.” The chorus of self-love is sung over and over and it is ringing in my ears. Although I have always accepted this to be true in the philosophical sense, the more I focus on my body, how I treat it and how it treats “me”; the more this statement […]

You Don’t Mean It

To the three beautiful girls sitting on the curb smoking cigarettes: Your glossy lips kiss the end of the filter, your shiny plastic nails act as neon hazard signs, so long they almost curl around the rolled paper like protective claws. Everything about you is orchestrated and pieced together through many hours searching Instagram and […]

Hit Me

I got punched in the stomach today. I want to tell everyone like a kid who wants to show that he has lost a tooth. I know it’s annoying to bait people like that, just so I have have an excuse to tell them about my MMA training, but the exhilaration I get from it […]

Mountain Of Excuses

I can already see the excuse forming on my lips, the one I’m going to use if summer starts and I still haven’t reached my goal: “Well, Runyon Canyon has been closed”. I’m already practicing it in the mirror. The hiking trail just outside my front door is closed for repairs, until July 31st. I […]